Does this story sound familiar?
Ralph and Ronnie wake up sad and stressed. Ralph feels dissatisfied with their sex life. Ronnie seems to be too distracted with the children and her career. He feels his sole value for her is to be a provider and a co-parent.
Both feel they’re losing connection with each other, feeling her more distant every day, and they’re growing resentful. They bicker constantly about seemingly small stuff. Ronnie is dissatisfied in her life. She doesn’t find fulfillment in her role as a wife, mother, and lately, even in her career.
Ralph and Ronnie seem aloof, sad, and tired.
Ralph and Ronnie seem to start feeling hopeless about their future together and sometimes fantasize about how life would be like if they got divorced. This scares both of them, because neither wants to give up time with their kids and neither feels ready to make more changes in their lives. They’re both beginning to wonder if they will spend the rest of their lives in a passionless marriage just for the kids.
Do you feel like you and your spouse are no longer connecting?
Do you find yourself fantasizing about your life without your spouse?
What’s the cost of inaction?
Ralph ends up developing depression and Ronnie’s physical health gets worse. They end up getting divorced. The children go through a rough adjustment, their grades drop and they start acting out at school and at home. Ronnie gains significant weight, is constantly irritable, and isolates from her friends and family.
Ronnie struggles to make ends meet financially and ends up moving in with her parents. Ralph is becoming angrier every day. Neither one of them seem to know how to handle the kids’ failing grades and acting out. He gets angry and hurtful with them. She neglects them and is overly permissive.
It did not have to end this way
And, it didn’t. Ralph and Ronnie sought couples counseling when they noticed their marriage was in trouble. They took responsibility for their roles in their situation and started making changes in their relationship. Ronnie and Ralph became more accessible and responsive to each other.
Ralph decided to let go of his resentment and take control of his depression and anger. He’s participating in individual therapy to learn how to manage his anger. Now, Ralph and Ronnie spend more time talking with each other about their fears, dreams, struggles, and goals. Their sex life has improved as a result of this. Ronnie has come to appreciate and admire how Ralph’s compassion, sensitivity, and commitment contributes to her life.
Ralph has come to appreciate and admire how Ronnie’s conscientiousness, loyalty, and dedication contributes to his life. This has made it easier for both to be more accepting and forgiving about the traits they don’t enjoy about each other. Ralph and Ronnie are communicating more effectively and frequently, which has reduced misunderstandings and has maintained a level of curiosity about each other. Both feel more hopeful about the future and have more passion in their relationship and in their individual lives.
Nobody should feel alone in life. Nobody should have to choose between a meaningful life and a life of martyrdom. We were created to love and nurture one another, in harmony and complementarity. We can help!
My family therapy expertise, Gottman Level 1 & 2 training, and own experiences as a human being, have taught me that these problems are very common in couples and they can either break or make you as a couple. You can come out a stronger couple at the end of this developmental milestone in your relationship! Although couples therapy tends to be more productive when dealing with couple’s issues, individual therapy can also have a positive ripple effect on your relationship.
I can help you do this by:
- Improving your sense of connection with each other.
- Improving the enjoyment of time spend together.
- Improving your emotional and physical intimacy.
- Helping you achieve a clearer vision of a future together.
- Improving knowledge about each other’s future aspirations, as individuals and as a family.
- Reducing resentment.
- Improving your communication skills.
- Improving your appreciation of each other’s contributions to the relationship.
- Improving acceptance of individual differences.
- Increasing curiosity about each other,and reducing assumptions about each other.
Don’t hesitate and take the step now for relationship help. Call now to schedule!